Fire Walls, Trojans and filters

I really like the music of the late 1990’s and early 2000. It was a period when Brit-Pop was internationally acclaimed and guitar bands were at their height. Emerging from the techno sounds of the 80’s with brief highlights from Punk and some alternative Indie groups, it was a relief for me anyway to get away from the synthesised techno sounds in favour of some guitar driven rock… Hey, I am in my 40’s!

There were a number of great TV shows too like Seinfeld, Absolutely Fabulous, Frasier and the X-Files, but one that stood out over the others like ‘Game-of-Thrones’ seems to do today, was the sitcom ‘Friends’. It seemed to speak to a generation of young adults like me, of the importance of relationship, the struggles we all had with life, and the expectations placed on us by our parents and by society. It was all wrapped up with good humour and a rich vein of sexual chemistry that gave you a sense of ‘will-they-or-won’t they’ kind of humour.

Friends reflected the ‘coffee-shop’ culture it was meant to represent, with only Monica and Chandler having in one sense, a ‘normal’ relationship. The others had a history of broken relationships and the emotional turmoil that goes with those events in our lives. Each character reflected the world as seen by the script writers: One brought up with a cross dressing dad who used humour to cope; the Italian American alpha male with smouldering eyes and the one liner ‘How you doin?’; the intellectual who had identity issues with the socio-emotional aspects of a relationship; the neurotic one whose contented family upbringing led to issues with body image and in being unable to interact within certain social situations; the new age hippy-type who had dabbled in alternative therapies and had paranormal experiences; and the archetypal beauty who seemingly oblivious to how easy life was for someone with wealth, yet misunderstood how her status affected those around her.

Wow… there is so much I can remember about that show! By the end of its run I had kind of got tired of the comedy and the characters; the show had run its course and we had all grown up. When I look back at the show today on the countless re-runs, I am surprised at how much of its content, possibly on account of my youthful approach to life at the time and my more mature outlook today, had overtly sexual content that I had overlooked. 

Now I felt that the show was a bit, well coarse... I had reached an epoch in my life as a parent, but also in the back of my mind, I had become the person I vowed not to be when I was young. I think it is because with multi-channel TV, these shows that used to be shown after what is called the ‘evening water-shed’ in the UK, are now shown at any time of the day.

The water-shed was a time agreed by all of the broadcasters where adult content would be allowed to be broadcast. It allowed parents to get little ones off to bed, and left enough time for the pre-teen to feel that they could watch more adult programming. TV shows and movies shown after 9 pm in the evening were considered to have adult content in them that would include sex, violence and peril, some of which would have a darker or more sinister theme.

Let me be clear at this point. When I mean adult, I don’t mean pornographic movies, I mean programming design to suit an adults understanding and reasoning. I was watching an adult centred comedy news show that contained many jokes about politicians, particularly former Senator, Anthony Weiner who unfortunately has a surname that matches his exploits on Twitter (sexting scandal July 2013). We make use of innuendo all of the time, not necessarily sexual, but implied thinking that leads to a humorous ending, which is the core of modern comedy.

There is one particular comedian called Russell Howard whose show 'Good News', is one that my wife and I enjoy watching. He is clearly immersed in the expression of his heterosexual lifestyle and is a young comedian who pushes the envelope of what would have been considered good etiquette, a few decades ago, but which is now on the cusp of popular culture within his generation. There are some shows where clearly his production team allow him to indulge his fantasy in the aim of comedy that I have to say, spoils the humour… it’s a step too far for me. Like my preference for guitar driven rock, I make a decision that for me particularly, this comedian doesn't always fit with my conscious thinking. For others, he may be absolutely fantastic.

I came home one evening to find my daughter watching Friends. Initially I thought fondly about the show and that my daughter, now 12, exploring this world from my youth. I started watching the show with her, stood in the lounge in my work suit, I was soon feeling uneasy. The content was quite graphic, where once I had only seen the humour of the situation: One of the characters was going to commit adultery with another; one was contemplating a three-some to put some ‘fun’ into the bedroom; and the others were expressing their need to have sex because, well, they needed it.

I mentioned to my daughter that perhaps the content was a bit too adult for her to watch… she didn't understand what I meant without me having to draw out the innuendo  which I didn't want to do. I do worry now as a father about the content of programmes. In my youth, I would not have even considered certain topics to be harmful to me because I was immersed in the culture. But now with an urge to protect my daughter from adult content and innuendo, I viewed the TV show through different eyes. Not only that, Jesus has clothed me with his ‘filter’ to help me determine that which is wholesome and good for me, and that which is unsavoury.

Jesus reveals in me, that some of the drivers and ambitions from my culture have filtered into my character as I allowed it to programme my understanding and to condition my emotions. We can easily become immune or insensitive towards material that has content for specific audiences… we can choose to turn a blind eye to it or we can withdraw from the context from which the inappropriate material is being shown or used. It may sound a little ‘prudish’ to even suggest that broadcast-able content is of questionable quality, but with a fathers eye, I want to protect the one's I love.

There are two ways that secular observers may react to my statements regarding my apparent judgements on content. My reaction to such content, conjures notions of ‘censorship’ or ‘classification’ or ‘age limits’ or ‘boundaries’ or even a more aggressive word, ‘control’. The second observation is more overt. The issues that I now have with popular culture is somehow my problem; it isn't  society that is at fault here. Content is freely available to view because we have freedom to express our ideas; under article 19 of the human rights act, we have the freedom to seek or receive information, and to impart that knowledge through whatever medium is appropriate.

There are legal conditions that protect ethnic communities and some religious groups from being abused by those who would think to misuse their freedom to express their opinion. One area in the news this week (27^th July 2013) is the UK Prime Minister, David Cameron’s determination to ensure that consumers have to ‘opt-into’ internet pornography sites, and in particular gratuitous sites that he describes as a “poisonous website” that “corrodes childhood”.

Yes, all computers have security settings; schools have internet filters; parents have responsibilities, but those unprotected from casually accessing material or content that is inappropriate, are always going to become vulnerable in an increasingly media savvy society. Some internet computers are so unsophisticated with their filters that they block seemingly innocent sites and yet can allow access to others that should have been blocked. We haven’t even mentioned mobile devices…

However, generational change slowly erodes traditional values in favour of the new. New expressions of etiquette and new protocols for interacting with each other are contained within a culture and are re-written to make those of a previous generation, question this fresh expression of ‘freedom’. As a Christian, I want to protect my daughter and my family from the excesses of society because of the brokenness of the lives of those we witness living to excess. Christians do not make up their morality as they go along, nor do they feel that because we can do a thing, we should do it. 

Life isn't about maximising my pleasure regardless of those it might affect… I want to protect my family and children from drunkenness; drug abuse; dependence on addictive substances; promiscuous or narcissistic lifestyles. I don’t want my children shouting profanities at others; verbally abusing then; physically abusing them; racially abusing people; lying; cheating; being deceptive or fraudulent… I don’t think anyone wants these qualities do they?

So how does society get like this? Watching the TV this evening, during the advertisement break, a commercial for car insurance was aired. Picture the scene: Car parked in a lonely picturesque location – camera pans to a man’s face as a robot approached the driver’s window – the man’s face is an expression of ‘pleasure’ – robot taps on the window to ask about the man’s insurance – woman in the passenger seat suddenly jumps up with the innuendo of a sexual act being performed – said robot explains the insurance offer leaving the car’s passengers and the advertisements viewers stunned. Is this really what we have become?

This is why I was concerned that my daughter was watching friends at 4pm in the afternoon at 12 years of age, and why internet use in my home is viewed with a degree of supervision. Putting safeguards in place, protects all those involved in relationships and raises awareness in each participant what boundaries are in place. That is why the Christian church has traditionally warned about the social consequences of indulging in inappropriate activities that distract people from healthy lifestyles.

My son made a ‘bet’ with my neighbour about the prospect of Cristiano Ronaldo being back at Manchester United for the start of the 2013 season. I explained to him at 9 years of age, that the bet was an agreement and that it couldn't be forfeit for anything else or absolved early. He was committed to purchasing the ice-cream! After a bit of time thinking he said, ‘Dad – I don’t want to do this bet.’ I explained that he had made a commitment that was like a contract, so he had to honour the terms even if now, he didn't want to agree to it. He was a bit too young to explain about the dangers of gambling, but he previously asked me why men go into betting shops…

We educate our children so that they will make healthy choices and hope that they are able to deal with the emotion of the decisions we make that don't go too well. Unfortunately, not all parents are able to offer their children the support needed in the modern world. We are either dealing with the problems we have experienced with life and our own childhoods, or wrestling with the demands of work. It’s all too easy to stick them in front of the TV or the wider range of media that they have access to, leaving them exposed to whatever nuance they find as entertainment.

When we are young, we have such self confidence in our beliefs and in our abilities that we don’t want to be told what we can or cannot do. If the person putting in the boundaries was using the more passive word ‘shouldn't’ we still think that they mean don’t. Those that do express caution are often referred to as being a kill-joys. When we are young we are not concerned about consequences, nor are we enamoured by some ‘well-meaning’ person group or programme telling us what could happen if we are not armed with all of the information we need to make intelligent choices.

This is what it comes down to in the end: do you trust me to make the correct choices? I know that as my love for my children grows, I am going to have to learn to let go. I shouldn't suffocate them, nor should I want to wrap them in cotton wool. What I would dearly love, is that I do my job as a dad correctly. If I love them and cherish them and champion them, they would hopefully come to me with their problems… not that I could solve all of them. I want to be a good listener and a good translator of their raw emotions so that I can help them make sense of life.

If I try to censor their lives too much, then there is a danger of them becoming dysfunctional socially, or fear my judgement when they err from what they believe I have sanctioned, however lovingly I did it. We all have to ‘own’ what it is we believe to be true of ourselves, and true of our nature. We are very precious to God and worth far more than any earthly treasure, which is why as a dad, I want to protect my children. Our heavenly father earnestly yearns that things would go well with us. He has given us a set of laws that are designed to protect us from the dangers of the world we live in, whilst making certain that we have a transparent pathway from which we can aspire to holiness.

It’s this latter part of ‘holiness’ that we reject when we do not want to do what God desires of us. As I said earlier, none of us want to do what we are told… sometimes when we learn through experience that what we were told, was indeed the right action to take, we begrudging admit that the person advising us was indeed correct. But until we ‘own’ that knowledge for ourselves, we question the motive behind the suggestion.

We can be bullish about what happens to us, learn to harden our hearts against the emotional turmoil, or even fill the vacuum of doubt and the insecurity we felt with a self-conscious ‘told-you-so’. And the guilt… yes that too. The shame of it! What will people think if they found out what happened… we could spiral into an even deeper sense of self-pity and isolation, feeling lonely within our circle of existence and denying ourselves of any joy. Some might say, “well just ignore it… in time the emotion will be dulled and you may be able to move on.” But I'm not so sure. It only takes one particular action from an often random occasion, to trigger a memory or an emotion that takes us right back to that place as though time hadn't moved on at all.

If we bury our inner voice and try to mask our true self with whatever drug or programme we invest our energies into, then we become dependent on those processes to maintain some sense of a functioning persona. I'm not a psychologist or a trained counsellor so please accept my apology if what I am writing doesn't sit well with you. We must de-bunk the myth that God is only interested in our punishment and that Christianity is some kind of spiritual police force, pointing out the wrong we do in order for us to feel guilty.

If we knowingly do something wrong and get found out, then we will feel emotionally guilty… some might say it is our internal conscience telling us that what we have done is wrong. The law is designed to do the same thing so that as a population, we are kept in check. I know I always feel uneasy around a policeman or woman, and yet I know I haven’t done anything wrong! People do feel nervous around representatives of the law. I always find it frustrating when driving along; where a seemingly ‘law-breaking’ motorist slows down to try to appear ‘law-abiding’. They draw-up alongside the police car, only to speed up again when they feel that they are at a sufficient distance.

There is nothing new in these behaviours. We have since the beginning of time, tried to question authority – particularly God’s authority. As human beings, we have shown that we have got it disastrously wrong. The humanists and the new atheists have for a long time, placed the blame for these errors squarely at the door of religion… “If God is good,” they might say, “why did it take so long for slavery to be abolished, or why suppress the rights of women?” Religion isn't God. Religion is what happens when ‘men’ get involved in administering God’s grace to the people. 

Israel was chosen by God to be a Holy Nation and a Royal Priesthood – the whole nation; not just a select few. Yet as soon as they had been rescued out of Egypt from persecution and slavery at the hand of Pharaoh by God’s servant Moses, they doubted where God was and how they were going to cope, now that they were free.

Over millennia of practice, the Jewish faith in administering the Law of Moses, had become so laboured by observance in the Law, that it obscured Jesus and his message of God. The Jewish leaders used their understanding of the Law to Judge Jesus and his message. Just as today, we do not take things at face value; the Jews also had reservations about what they saw. They doubted that Jesus was the Messiah not because of the amazing miracles eye-witnessed by the apostles, but because they thought they knew where he came from. How would a carpenter from Nazareth, whose father and mother they all knew, go about proclaiming he was the son of man…?

I saw in the night visions, and behold, with the clouds of heaven there came one like a son of man, and he came to the Ancient of Days and was presented before him. And to him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him; his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom one that shall not be destroyed.

(Daniel 7:13-14)

The Messiah was prophesied as the one who was coming to establish King David’s reign in Jerusalem, which was now occupied by the Roman Empire, one of many nations who had attempted to subjugate the Jewish people. The Jews tolerated the occupation as they were able to run the temple law in parallel to the rules of the occupation. This kept the Jewish leadership in control regarding the people’s spiritual consciousness. This suited the Roman occupiers as it enabled them to have a level of collaboration with the people in the form of tax collectors. The Jewish leaders also had the temple guard to do their bidding. The prospect of the Messiah coming to rescue the Jews from their occupation was tangible…

The Roman governor Pontius Pilate had previously crushed rebellions and was not thought to favour diplomacy. Historical records show that this account of him in the Gospel of Mark is out of character. In fact, he had in prison a rebel leader called Barabbas who had committed murder in an uprising in Jerusalem:

Very early in the morning the leading priests, the elders, and the teachers of religious law—the entire high council—met to discuss their next step. They bound Jesus, led him away, and took him to Pilate, the Roman governor. Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?” Jesus replied, “You have said it.” Then the leading priests kept accusing him of many crimes, and Pilate asked him, “Aren't you going to answer them? What about all these charges they are bringing against you?” But Jesus said nothing, much to Pilate’s surprise. Now it was the governor’s custom each year during the Passover celebration to release one prisoner—anyone the people requested. One of the prisoners at that time was Barabbas, a revolutionary who had committed murder in an uprising. The crowd went to Pilate and asked him to release a prisoner as usual. “Would you like me to release to you this ‘King of the Jews’?” Pilate asked. (For he realized by now that the leading priests had arrested Jesus out of envy.) But at this point the leading priests stirred up the crowd to demand the release of Barabbas instead of Jesus. Pilate asked them, “Then what should I do with this man you call the king of the Jews?” They shouted back, “Crucify him!” “Why?” Pilate demanded. “What crime has he committed?” But the mob roared even louder, “Crucify him!” So to pacify the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them. He ordered Jesus flogged with a lead-tipped whip, and then turned him over to the Roman soldiers to be crucified.

(Mark 15: 1-15)

Barabbas had committed murder; all that Jesus had done was make the blind see, the deaf hear, and the lame walk. Jesus was in this position because he had been betrayed by one of his own. Judas was recruited by Jesus to be one of the 12 disciples. Judas was a revolutionary. He was anticipating the return of the king and in the miracles and teaching of Jesus, he saw the Messiah. But something changed in him. Jesus wasn't acting in the way that Judas expected of the Messiah. It was his idea, and that of many Jews, that when the Messiah came, he would overthrow the Romans in a battle that would give honour to God.

However, it wasn't working out like that. Jesus had begun talking about his death when Judas was expecting to be preparing for confrontation. Judas is described as a zealot who was part of a group of people in the 1^st century who sought to incite the people of Judea to expel the Romans from the Holy Land. Jesus’ ministry began to restore the glory of God to the people through his miracles and his teaching on the restoration of the kingdom struck a chord with people. As time went by, Judas began to harbour doubts about whether Jesus was truly the Messiah, whereas the other disciples had become certain of who Jesus was.

Judas carried the money purse and was probably involved in all of the arrangements that had to be made regarding taxes to the Romans and the taxes for temple worship. We must assume he was involved in providing accommodation and food; transportation… so when Mary, the sister of Lazarus who was raised from the dead, poured anointing oil over Jesus’ head as a symbol of embalming his body, Judas could only scoff at the action.

Six days before the Passover celebration began, Jesus arrived in Bethany, the home of Lazarus—the man he had raised from the dead. A dinner was prepared in Jesus’ honour. Martha served, and Lazarus was among those who ate with him. Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance. But Judas Iscariot, the disciple who would soon betray him, said, “That perfume was worth a year’s wages. It should have been sold and the money given to the poor.” Not that he cared for the poor—he was a thief, and since he was in charge of the disciples’ money, he often stole some for himself.

(John 12:1-6)

Judas had got tired of the merry-go round. His world-view was challenged and he didn't believe in Jesus as the Messiah any more. Perhaps when the Roman Centurion came to Jesus to ask for healing for his trusted slave, there were signs that even the authorities were responding to Jesus’ teaching (Luke 7: 1-10). For Judas, this would be fuel to his fire… If Jesus can turn the Roman Centurion, we can defeat the governor too. But Jesus taught the people that they should love their neighbour as themselves, which for a Jew, meant the Samaritan, the refugee, the social outcast and anyone who wasn't a Jew.

Jesus challenged the disciple’s faith in him at every opportunity. Sometimes they were clearly confused and asked Jesus to speak plainly to them:

Later, when Jesus was alone with the twelve disciples and with the others who were gathered around, they asked him what the parables meant. He replied, “You are permitted to understand the secret of the Kingdom of God. But I use parables for everything I say to outsiders, so that the Scriptures might be fulfilled:

‘When they see what I do, they will learn nothing.
When they hear what I say, they will not understand.
Otherwise, they will turn to me and be forgiven.’”

Then Jesus said to them, “If you can’t understand the meaning of this parable, how will you understand all the other parables?

(Mark 4: 10-13)

Jesus specifically challenged the 12 to answer for who they believed he was. We often read of Peter blurting out a response on behalf of all of them, but clearly he did not speak for Judas…

Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.” Then Jesus said, “I chose the twelve of you, but one is a devil.” He was speaking of Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, one of the Twelve, who would later betray him.

(John 6: 69-70)

Judas had seen all of the miracles. He had been there when 5000 people were fed. He had seen Jesus calm the stormy sea and walk on water. He had seen all that God did through Jesus and yet chose to reject what he saw because of the direction that Jesus was taking by talking of his premature death; this did not match Judas’ world view of a conquering king. How often do we do this in our own lives? We are happy to go along with things when it suits us, but as soon as our belief is challenged or our actions are brought to account, we will want to reject that which we used to believe because it is too uncomfortable for us to dwell in that place.

Perhaps it was the body language or the attitude towards him that Jesus read… the grumbling behind his back. Jesus would have noticed that Judas’ focus was in the wrong place, particularly when it came to money. Judas was committed to his course of action through that seed of doubt he planted in his own mind. It allowed him to ignore what he saw to be true in favour of what he wanted to believe. He had contacts with the temple in Jerusalem as Jesus always taught there in public. There were always temple taxes to pay and Judas was the finance officer… He was prepared to barter Jesus’ life away for 30 pieces of silver, which we know today, was the bounty for a slave or recompense for the loss of a slave (Exodus 21:32).

Judas was willing to forgo what he had seen in favour of what he wanted to believe. For Judas, a lot could be done with 30 pieces of silver – he was governed by his desire for wealth as we saw when Mary poured out the oil over Jesus' head. In Judas’ mind, he was bartering for the life of a fraud – as he saw it, which played straight into the hands of the High Priest and the Sanhedrin, who were looking for a way to get rid of Jesus. The Jewish leaders were standing behind their 'firewall' of the law, and Judas could be the 'Trojan' they needed to get to Jesus. Judas went back to the authority that he knew in the form of the temple guards, to prevent Jesus leading people astray. Judas saw Jesus' proclamations to be the 'Son of God' and yet he knew that he wasn't prepared to wipe out the Roman army as the heir to King David's throne, the Messiah, was prophesied as doing!

King David was prevented from building the original temple in Jerusalem, the one that Jesus said he would knock down and rebuild in three days, because he had shed too much blood (John 2:13-22):

 “My son Solomon, I wanted to build a Temple to honour the name of the Lord my God,” David told him. “But the Lord said to me, ‘You have killed many men in the battles you have fought. And since you have shed so much blood in my sight, you will not be the one to build a Temple to honour my name. But you will have a son who will be a man of peace.

(1 Chronicles 22: 7-9)

Jesus did not come with an army because it would have countered his ability to do Gods work. Jesus knew that Judas was to betray him and he was waiting for the time that his plot would be revealed. He asks the disciples if there were any swords – they produce two of them to which Jesus says will be enough (Luke 22:35-38). When Peter uses one of these swords to cut off the ear of the temple guard, Jesus shows God’s plan right there… he reattaches the guards ear through a miraculous healing. This is the God I believe in. Not some religious order of do’s and don't, but a person whose purpose was to bring restoration – let what needs to be done, be done, so that God would get the glory.

Jesus was turning mankind’s rules upside down… Jesus was prepared to become the ultimate sacrifice and have his blood spilled on the rubbish tip of the mountain called Golgotha, whilst being hung a wooden cross as a curse. This was the lowest form of death that anyone would want at the end of their lives – to be falsely accused; to have all that knew him run away in fear; to be sentenced to death by both the people of God and the gentiles. However, what we find in this crucifixion scene is that Jesus’ death unites humanity, both Jew and gentile, whilst at their lowest point.

Here’s just a few of the things we know happened:

1. Jesus was slapped across the face to denote the high priests authority over his own – we physically assault those we feel cannot be controlled by reason, but when they give an account of themselves, it appears that they show defiance where those in charge feel sanctioned to use their physical power, to control the other person.
2.  Restraint is used to deny Jesus his liberty to defend himself – Prophesies about Jesus, show that he would be bound and led away, but for the purposes of the High Priest, it again denotes to Jesus and those viewing the scene, that they believed they had the right, the means, and the law to do so - to punish him. It puts Jesus in a place of judgement… Isaiah 53:8 – “From prison and trial they led Him away to His death. But who among the people realized that He was dying for their sins – that He was suffering their punishment?”
3. Jesus was tried without a Jury – witnesses were brought to testify against Jesus but he was not allowed to defend himself except to respond to the accusations made against him that resulted in (1) above. Those accusing Jesus, decide his fate. Isaiah 53:7-8a – “He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet He never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, He did not open His mouth. From prison and trial they led Him away to His death.”
4. No criminal charge is brought against Jesus, just a religious charge of blasphemy – The high priest and the temple leaders feared the views of the people if they were to stone Jesus for blasphemy, so they illicit the help of the Roman authority to dispense justice and demand his crucifixion. The leaders knew their evidence was circumstantial so needed to get the unclean gentiles to do their business for them.
5. The religious leaders use mob rule – Pontius Pilate does not want another Jewish uprising so is going with the flow. If he can quell this mob now with the right judgement, he might stave off a conflict situation and keep the peace. Matthew 26:67-68 – “Then they spit in Jesus’ face and hit Him with their fists. And some slapped Him, saying, ‘Prophesy to us, You Messiah! Who hit you that time?’”    Luke 23:11, 35 – “Now Herod and his soldiers began mocking and ridiculing Jesus. Then they put a royal robe on Him and sent Him back to Pilate. The crowd watched, and the leaders laughed and scoffed. ‘He saved others,’ they said, ‘let Him save Himself if He is really God’s Chosen One, the Messiah.’”
6. The Jewish leaders use the law to protect their own interests – This is a carefully orchestrated action on the part of the Jewish leaders. They challenge Pilate to crucify Jesus because the Jewish leaders suggest it would be doing the will of Caesar… Did Pilate want word getting back to Caesar that he had not honoured his laws as governor – I think not?
7. It suited the Jewish leaders to show allegiance to Caesar in order to absolve them of any responsibility in causing his death – it was only a few days before Passover so the chief priests and the rabbi’s did not want to become ritually unclean through dealing with Jesus; it also helped them avoid breaking the commandment: you should not kill.

There is so much more we could cover – it would take a lifetime of discipleship to investigate all of the interplay between the Jewish leaders and Jesus. People have always tried to justify their actions and to try and rationalise the logic of their decision making – it’s our human nature. We want to be at the centre of what we believe to be true; we don’t want to be told that we are wrong; we have more faith in what we want to believe, than in what we are told is true, particularly if we do not own that truth. Judas looked around and didn't see any justification in supporting Jesus’ ministry any longer, just as we all challenge those in authority or those with responsibility to lead us, particularly if we question their direction.

This so-called trial of Jesus was the final interplay between the customs of the old covenant tradition, and the ushering in of the new covenant that was shaped by Jesus’ death and resurrection to new life. What we choose to believe is born out of the evidence of what we see. It is clear in the gospel stories, which are eye-witness accounts of what happened to Jesus, that there is more evidence of God at work in this world, than there is evidence against God. God challenges us to test our understanding of him by putting our faith in his son, Jesus the Nazarene, formerly of Bethlehem and formerly of heaven.

Watching my daughter view a TV show with questionable content, brings to light the tension in our souls between what is social and culturally acceptable or lawful, and that which although lawful and culturally acceptable, is still wrong. It isn't my interpretation of the law that is doing the judging, it is the spirit within me; a spirit that is transforming my understanding of the world and the harm that can come from seemingly innocent sources. If I choose to follow what Jesus asks of me, I am going to find myself indifferent to the world I live in and seek to change it for the better, by revealing to the world, the love that was first shown to me: forgiveness, acceptance, mercy and grace.

This paragraph is from the book of Ezekiel in the Old Testament. Read it carefully as it tells the story of what happens to those who choose to turn away from their wrongdoing…

But if wicked people turn away from all their sins and begin to obey my decrees and do what is just and right, they will surely live and not die. All their past sins will be forgotten, and they will live because of the righteous things they have done. “Do you think that I like to see wicked people die?” says the Sovereign Lord. Of course not! I want them to turn from their wicked ways and live. However, if righteous people turn from their righteous behaviour and start doing sinful things and act like other sinners, should they be allowed to live? No, of course not! All their righteous acts will be forgotten, and they will die for their sins. “Yet you say, ‘The Lord isn't doing what’s right!’ Listen to me, O people of Israel. Am I the one not doing what’s right, or is it you? When righteous people turn from their righteous behaviour and start doing sinful things, they will die for it. Yes, they will die because of their sinful deeds. And if wicked people turn from their wickedness, obey the law, and do what is just and right, they will save their lives. They will live because they thought it over and decided to turn from their sins. Such people will not die. And yet the people of Israel keep saying, ‘The Lord isn't doing what’s right!’ O people of Israel, it is you who are not doing what’s right, not I. “Therefore, I will judge each of you, O people of Israel, according to your actions, says the Sovereign Lord. Repent, and turn from your sins. Don’t let them destroy you! Put all your rebellion behind you, and find yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die O people of Israel? I don’t want you to die, says the Sovereign Lord. Turn back and live.”

(Ezekiel 18: 21-32)

We all clearly have a choice: to turn from the things that are ‘wicked’, to do what is right. We cannot do this on our own, we make mistakes. Due to these mistakes we feel guilty and powerless, and do not want to be judged for our mistakes as this just makes the agony worse. It is why people seem to dislike the church and indeed Christians, or religious people. This is exactly why Jesus came… to restore our broken hearts. I have lived most of my life, fearful of the opinions of others; my background; my body image; my social skills; my ability to interact with humour - I have felt inadequate.

I know that in all of this, Jesus sustains me in ways that I cannot fathom. Without him I would be a shadow of the man I am today, full of conflicted emotions and unresolved anguish. He is the author and finisher of my faith. If you have not met with Jesus before, then as we finish today, ask him into your heart with a simple prayer of repentance:

‘Lord, I have gone my own way for far too long and have reached a point in my life where I am ready to relinquish control. I have done many things that I shouldn't have, and forgotten or ignored doing the things I should have. I have fallen short and know that I have sinned. I ask you Lord to forgive me of my sin through the death of your son Jesus, and ask that you fill me with your Holy Spirit. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour and ask you to walk with me during the remainder of my life.’

Pick up your bible and read through the Gospels and into ACTS; find a local church that is running an Alpha Course and bring everything to God in prayer… You won’t look back.